A sometimes serious (sometimes not) look at the year just past:
Firstly (and sadly..) RIP: Loverboy bass player Scott Smith, Benjamin Orr, Mike & The Mechanics vocalist Paul Young, Ian Dury, NYC drummer John Guido and Harem Scarem, UFO, Portrait Records, Fair Warning.
Vocalist Of The Year: Steve Augeri - for both his work on Journey's new album and on tour with the guys. This man deserves a lot of praise for filling an un-fillable void. Runner up - Jorn Lande for the awesome job on Millenium and his solo project and having the guts to work with Yngwie!
The Best Producer Award: Kevin Shirley for the 'spanking' sound of Journey's Arrival CD. Runner up - Ralph Santolla for Millenium and Teer & Roy Z for Rob Halford, Rob Rock & The Tribe Of Gypsies.
Worst Albums of the Year :
Yngwie Malmsteen, Southfork, The Liberators, Rock Superstars (crappy label's fault), Bigelf, John Farnham, 58, King Prawn.
The 'Survivor' award for BAND NAMING RIGHTS: TIE! Frankie Sullivan - winning his own award for suing the TV show for releasing a CD titled Survivor and Styx for their upcoming dispute.
The 'Japanese Label' one last cash-in award: Warner Bros. Japan for the second year running! Well done guys! They get this award for another year of Harem Scarem releases, with yet more to come!
Close runner up - Styx and REO Speedwagon for that awful effort on the Arch Allies release.
The 'Journey' Award for Successfully replacing a Vocalist: Van Halen - even though it hasn't been announced or confirmed!
The Failure in Replacement Vocalist Award: Impellitteri - for throwing out the great Rob Rock.
The 'Kiss' Award for Most Money Made For Least Amount Of Work: Tribute Albums - For those regulars that pop up on every tribute album released.
The Just Release The Bloody Thing Award: TIE! Journey (Arrival USA Version), Danger Danger (Cockroach), Slamer / Thompson and Dare (Belief), Wicked Alliance & Alias 2.
The Welcome Back Award: MULTIPLE TIE! House Of Lords, Magnum, Hardline, Tesla, Winger, Drive She Said, Oni Logan & Jeff Scott Soto.
The 'Krokus' Go Away Award:Michael Bolton
The Donald Trump Award: Goes to Greg Giuffria and his new attire. One hopes he will alter his appearance for the House Of Lords photo shoot!
The Worst Case Of Publicity Award: Rick Springfield for that unfortunate arrest.
The Worst Record Label Award: Blue Dolphin Records for having a courier standing by at the studio to pick up master tapes because the band had run over draconian deadlines.
The Beat The Bootleggers Award: Marcie Free for making old demo MP3s available from her site. Great job!
The 'Spinal Tap' Award: UFO for that fabulous UK tour and their added onstage antics.
The Best Fan Website Award: VHForums.com - That's my favourite place to cruise and listen to Van Halen fans debate everything and anything. Great site.
And last but not least!
Dickhead of the Year Award: Pazzo - Who the hell is Pazzo? I wish I knew, but that's the handle he goes by. He's a Van Halen fanatic that sent me several e-mails in the early stages of this year. They are so seriously funny, I had to share them with you. I can only hope any of you don't have the misfortune of crossing this clown's path.
E-Mail One: (On discovering there was no update as promised)
There isnt shit at your fuckin site. I thought you were full of shit now I know it. ha ha fuck you.
E-Mail Two: (On seeing the Van Halen update)
Andrew, Your site was just updated here in MA. so first I want to apologize to you for thinking you were full of shit. Second I want to apologize for the other stuff I said and I want to thank you for sending me mail when you didnt have to. The site didnt update until I went to "lots new in review" and then back to the frontpage. But whatever thats hindsight. Thanks again for your confidence and I'm sorry I blew it with my big mouth and (not that it matters to you ) I will continue to use your site above all others for music news.
paZZO
E-Mail Three: (On not liking the update!)
Hey Andrew there are a lot of people out there who think your full of shit!!! Your info better be legit or you better start wearing a disguise!!! lol or maybe a cup!!! ha ha
You will have to shut down your site if your the piece of shit they are saying you are!!!
I hope for your sake it's legit. Or maybe I don't after what you wrote to me!
see ya jerky boy
PAZZO
E-Mail Four:
You little piece of shit! Your a fraud and to think I was dumb enough to actually waist keystrokes mailing your pussy ass.
Your site is in trouble now as the major Van Halen and David lee Roth sites are calling you melodi CROCK.com. Your just trying to get extra play on your site by posting rumers. You have no sources asshole, your a punk and I'm the one laughing . Hang it up your done...
Last time you chump!
PAZZO
Hope you have all enjoyed the 2000 run down!