Who on earth wants a Goo-y Christmas album? This monstrosity of cheese soaked, soggy cardboard ‘music’ is the ultimate 2020 ‘fuck you’ to fans of this once great band. As if everything else this shit sandwich of a year has served up isn’t enough, the Goo’s end all hope for humanity with this ultimate betrayal of everything the band once stood for. This almost makes me wish for a shit sandwich. More like a soggy lettuce hemorid.

Yes, I hate Christmas albums. Yes, I hate most Christmas songs, although there’s a handful out there that allow me to stop saying bah humbug long enough to enjoy.

And yes, the most recent Goo Goo Dolls output has been largely uninspiring. It’s been a long while since Long Way Down and Slide ruled the airwaves and the band sounded half interested in rocking their fanbase.

But this horrendous record is simply too much. Safe, boring, cheesy and lazy are its good qualities. This is so insipid it makes Wham sound like Napalm Death. One of their kids even sings lead on one track. I don’t even care enough to find out who. It will never pass my ears again.

From tracks that sound more like a badly imitated Tom Petty (his track opens the record) to jazzy Michael Buble standards, this is almost criminally bad.

Only the original track This Is Christmas (which is basically the sappy parts of Iris re-written) has anything remotely connected to the band’s past sound.

No redeeming features to this at all. Horrible. It gives new meaning to the word bland and if your ears can stomach all 30-odd minutes of this disaccharide goo, a good blast of the aforementioned Napalm Death is required to cleanse one’s musical palate.

You’d have to be almost dead not to get caught up in the infectious fun that is Tokyo Motor Fist. The name might conjure up thoughts of an ancient form of Japanese bondage, but at least they didn’t name themselves Trixter Danger.

Yes, the most talented Steve Brown (Trixter, Guitar) and the always flamboyant Ted Poley (Danger Danger, vocals) team with the rhythm section of Greg Smith (Ted Nugent, Rainbow, Alice Cooper) and Chuck Burgi (Rainbow, Blue Oyster Cult, Joe Lynn Turner) for what amounts to a meeting of the New Jersey chapter of the Melodic Rock Mafia, to create an infectious slice of classic 80s melodic rock that you just have to rock along with. While the album may not have the polish of a major 80s budget, it does pass the crankability test and shines when at maximum volume.

Following his great recent solo album, Ted Poley again delivers a powerhouse vocal while Steve Brown provides the backbone of the sound, his soulful guitar playing filling the air between hooks and choruses. The album is also a tribute to his songwriting prowess.For the most part this delivers exactly what you’d expect – a mix of modern day Trixter’s smart melodic rock and Danger Danger’s hands in the air party anthems. Look no further than the opening salvo of Pickin' Up The Pieces, Love Me Insane, Gimme Your Good Lovin Shameless and Black And Blue to deliver plus the moody feel good ballads Love, Get You Off My Mind and Don’t Let Me Go work to balance the record and provide breathing space between the rockers.

You're My Revolution brings out the double kick drums for a rousing tempo boost, but its Put Me To Shame and Done To Me where Steve Brown’s connection to Def Leppard seems to get dialled up. For a minute I thought I was listening to Sweden’s Leppard loving Grand Design.

How could fans of the two principle artists not be happy with this? It delivers exactly what you might have been hoping for, perhaps exceeding expectations with the strong hooks and great performances.No complaints here and given the positive fan reaction so far, one would have to think that this will develop further just as the ‘other’ D2 side project The Definants has.

Toby Hitchcock is one of the voices of the last decade or so. Since his Pride Of Lions debut, his powerful tenor has been front and centre for some of the genre’s best anthems and most epic ballads. Any Toby Hitchcock is good Toby Hitchcock. And for the most part, this album is no different. Songs are delivered by the who’s who of the AOR scene, with at least another 4-5 classic songs here – Queen Untouchable, Promise Me, No Surrender and This Is Our World. Man, the guy can sing. 

I like that a lot of the album is uptempo and flows at a pretty hectic pace. I don’t think this is as strong as Toby’s Erik Martensson-helmed debut. Even though this album is also a Swedish production, the differences are quite stark. Reckoning sounds firmly planted in the 80s, with the keyboards and production style a more distinct European in flavour.

The songs are enjoyable but not to the same level as the debut or Pride Of Lions. There is one issue that desperately needs to be addressed. The keyboards. We need to talk about the keyboards. As has been the case with all Daniel Flores productions, the keyboards dominate. They are the highest element in the mix, aside from vocals and there are just way too many layers of them. There is no letup in the sonic bombardment. There needs to be more space for the rest of the instrumentation to breathe. Even during guitar solos the keyboards still dominate.

I like Daniel a lot – very talented and sweet guy – but there must be an intervention. The keyboards are simply overbearing, and the production style is becoming very repetitive. Find Me (all 3), the second First Signal album, the Palace debut, Cry Of Dawn and now Toby Hitchcock – largely all sound the same.

So moving forward I hope some individual personality can be infused into these projects. And that's the main essence of what's missing here - its own personality. That said, there’s still plenty to enjoy and Toby’s vocals are powerful, emotional and totally immersive. Fans of Find Me, Daniel’s other AOR work and 80s keyboard melodic rock will enjoy.

I seem to have gained a reputation for disliking Bon Jovi. Giving Burning Bridges a 10% grading might have helped propel that train of thought for some, and my views on This House Is Not For Sale, This Left Seems Right, Lost Highway, What About Now and The Circle certainly wouldn’t have helped.

Now I look at it, I actually dislike more Bon Jovi album than I like. I’ve never broken it down like that before. This revelation should say more about the band than my personal critiques. I hold their first 5 albums in high regard and worship at the feet of New Jersey.

I also think Have A Nice Day is one of the better examples of a classic band updating their sound and still kicking ass.

With 2020 being universally regarded as the year of Satan’s armpit, it may not have been the wisest idea to give your big new album the same moniker. Perhaps though, it is quite fitting for the wrong reasons.

We all know the great Americana singer/songwriter Jonnie B Jovee wishes to take his place alongside fellow rockers Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp, but he’s missing more than one ingredient that makes those two legends the icons they are.

Jonny B Jovee could have been a legend in his own standing had he just stuck to what he did best. Of course, his voice will no longer play along and his lifelong writing partner Richie Sambora bailed in 2013, so fans have to live through his midwestern acoustic heartland rock dreams with him.

For me the album holds just one track of note and that is the lead track Limitless. It remains me a little of the modern rock Have A Nice Day vibe, just without the voice.

There’s a couple of token rockers thrown in, but the majority of this album is comprised of self-aware slow to mid-tempo tracks, carrying forward the album’s political and social messages.

That part doesn’t bother me - for the most part, I’m on a similar page as Jon’s political commentary, but you don’t have to be boring to make a point.

The deluxe edition adds two more utterly lifeless ballads and a duet of the uptempo Bruce Mellencamp styled Do What You Can.

I’d love to say that Bon Jovi are back, but they’re not. Jonny B Jovi is however and if you’ve been riding alongside his recent musical path, you’ll know what to expect here.

Jonny sings that ‘we start to die the day we are born’. Same could be said of this album’s sales on release day. Who could ever have imagined the guy that sang Living On A Prayer would one day be versing about chicken farms in Arkansas?