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Thu
29
Oct

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN - Blue Lightning (2019)

Score: 
22
Categories: 
Reviews

The deluxe edition of Yngwie Malmsteen’s new CD comes with a drinks coaster. I recommend sticking to the regular version and just use the disc instead. Yes, it’s that time of the year again, where we get to investigate Yngwie’s latest musical offering – this time he’s tackling “the blues”.

I’m not sure which blues he speaks of – this record has as much in common with the Mississippi Delta or the origins of blues based rock as Steve Perry is to gangsta rap. Look, I know it’s fun to read a bad review and especially one aimed at Yngwie – but it’s not without cause.

This album continues the muddy mess that has been every record in recent years where Yngwie is in control of playing, producing and mixing. It’s just bloody awful. The opening title track has wall to wall rhythm with bass reduced to sounding like a distant foghorn dipped in crude oil.

There’s no space between instruments and the relentless double kick drum on just about every damn song is completely out of place. Much like Yngwie playing the blues. Just check out Foxey Lady. Widdling intro, brain damaging bass thumping and thrash like double kick drum speed while Yngwie’s “vocals” and continual widdling travel along at half the speed.

Doesn’t anyone ever say “dude, this ain’t right?”It’s the same with Purple Haze. Widdle, thump, widdle, thump, wail, widdle – all at double the sensible tempo.How about the utterly classic While My Guitar Gently Weeps – the beautiful, gentle, restrained masterpiece of subtlety and style? Widdle, thump, widdle widdle, wail, double-widdle, triple-widdle.There is zero soul on this album. Yes Yngwie can play like a BMF.

Yes, he can widdle faster than the speed of taste, yes he used to be an essential purchase when actually using a producer, a vocalist, a bassist and a drummer (a real band that is).


Until he employs a modicum of self-restraint and self-awareness (and a vocalist and a producer etc etc), then I will be here to critique these albums honestly. And honestly, this is more of the same.I’ll score this a 22 – the same number of years since the last great Malmsteen record.

 
Tue
03
Aug

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN - Parabellum (2021)

Score: 
10
Categories: 
Reviews

This could be the most pointless review ever written.

Rabid Yngwie fans will no doubt agree. But for the rest of you, I will explain.

Yngwie is Yngwie. An no amount of words with stop Yngwie being Yngwie. So why bother?

Yngwie is a one man show – he does everything himself. He takes no advice, believes his own self-written press releases, has an ego the size of the empty Marshall stacks he ridiculously piles up on stage and is basically a self-declared shred icon.

So, any review of an Yngwie album that doesn’t tug on the girth of his titanic ego will be met with derision. I’ve read a couple of good reviews for this album, which makes me wonder if the audio for those was heard via a shortwave radio transmission to the mountains of Uzbekistan, as there is no sane rationale for anyone to hear this and not think that it sounds like a big sonic turd.

The drum sound alone is worthy of instant rejection by normally functioning ears. It sounds like they lowered a kit into a medieval mud-filled well and recorded whatever was able to be played with a RadioShack microphone from the top.

Yngwie’s vocals are as warm as a used tray of kitty litter and the shredding is so intent on the one purpose of million-degree shredding, that the album cover itself began to melt.

In his desire to be seen as a faultless guitar-bass-drum-vocal-production-mixer-engineer-cello-everything-god, he makes the same mistake for the forth album in a row. There is no self-awareness in play here. Yngwie can play – I have every album from his first decade – but he can’t and shouldn’t do it all.

Hire a producer, hire a drummer, hire a bassist, hire a vocalist, hire ANYONE that will actually work with you. And work together on something that doesn’t sound like it was recorded by a self-obsessed raving lunatic.

Like I said. It’s all pointless. Almost like the score for this album.

 
Fri
29
Mar

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN - Blue Lightning (Review)

information persons: 
content: 
22%
Label: 
Mascot
Score: 
22
Categories: 
Reviews
 
The deluxe edition of Yngwie Malmsteen’s new CD comes with a drinks coaster. I recommend sticking to the regular version and just use the disc instead.
 
Yes, it’s that time of the year again, where we get to investigate Yngwie’s latest musical offering – this time he’s tackling “the blues”. I’m not sure which blues he speaks of – this record has as much in common with the Mississippi Delta or the origins of blues based rock as Steve Perry is to gangsta rap.
 
Look, I know it’s fun to read a bad review and especially one aimed at Yngwie – but it’s not without cause. This album continues the muddy mess that has been every record in recent years where Yngwie is in control of playing, producing and mixing. It’s just bloody awful.
 
The opening title track has wall to wall rhythm with bass reduced to sounding like a distant foghorn dipped in crude oil. There’s no space between instruments and the relentless double kick drum on just about every damn song is completely out of place. Much like Yngwie playing the blues.
 
Just check out Foxey Lady. Widdling intro, brain damaging bass thumping and thrash like double kick drum speed while Yngwie’s “vocals” and continual widdling travel along at half the speed. Doesn’t anyone ever say “dude, this ain’t right?”
It’s the same with Purple Haze. Widdle, thump, widdle, thump, wail, widdle – all at double the sensible tempo.
How about the utterly classic While My Guitar Gently Weeps – the beautiful, gentle, restrained masterpiece of subtlety and style? Widdle, thump, widdle widdle, wail, double-widdle, triple-widdle.
There is zero soul on this album.
 
Yes Yngwie can play like a BMF. Yes, he can widdle faster than the speed of taste, yes he used to be an essential purchase when actually using a producer, a vocalist, a bassist and a drummer (a real band that is).

Until he employs a modicum of self-restraint and self-awareness (and a vocalist and a producer etc etc), then I will be here to critique these albums honestly. And honestly, this is more of the same.
I’ll score this a 22 – the same number of years since the last great Malmsteen record.
 
 
Thu
16
Jun

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN - World On Fire (Review)

information persons: 
content: 
45%
Produced By: 
Yngwie
Running Time: 
Yngwie
Release Date: 
Yngwie
Released: 
Yngwie
Musical Style: 
Yngwie
Label: 
Yngwie
Score: 
45
Categories: 
Reviews
 
Well, it’s not as bad as War To End All Wars. That record should have been titled Album To End All Careers. But somehow the great fret-fiddler Yngwie J Malmsteen continues on.
 
It’s hard to tell who is the most delusional. Yngwie himself for releasing this as is; his record label for actually paying for it to be manufactured or some of his fans who are reacting as if this album is the greatest slice of majestic, audio grandeur and shredtastic splendor since Les Paul took craft lessons in Jnr High.
 
Ok, so it’s not all bad….well it is if you were rating audio quality alone. I’m not sure where this was recorded. It sounds like it was recorded in my grandmother’s 1922 outhouse and pieced together on a 1981 Acorn BBC Micro 6502.
I just cannot understand how and artist, his manager wife and record label could all agree this was release ready. The production quality and muddy mix are just rotten.
 
To the songs themselves – well, the boy can play – no doubting that ever. And before the fanclub hit me up with death threats and witty insults about what really constitutes greatness, please be advised I have most of the Swedish Frethogger’s albums and I remain a strong fan of several in particular.
 
There are some good and bad here. The title track World On Fire is a great 1 minute idea that goes for 4 and a half and most of the instrumentals that follow are simply retreads of past work.
I’m being strangely hypnotized by Yngwie’s vocals on Lost In The Machine. Is he employing mind control to keep fans under influence? I don’t mind that song at all, except for the quality and the fact the vocals sound like they were sung into a Coke can rather than a microphone.
Largo and No Rest for the Wicked are simply the same riff as each other, just played faster and Duf 1220 is the most accurate song title on the whole album.
 
I really do like Yngwie. I think he’s doing an ok job, but his organization is one that cannot be criticized. I’m on their shit list because of my last few reviews – but that’s just part of the job.
This review won’t help of course. What he needs to do is embrace those that want to work with him. There are a number of great musicians from his past that that would happily collaborate with him. But no one wants to work for him.
 
Hopefully he can find the financing to hire a producer or at least a professional mix engineer, get a vocalist on board to work together and collaborate on some great songs that aren’t all widdling and get back to what really made Yngwie Malmsteen albums of the past so enjoyable. He needs an A&R guy to tell him what works and what doesn't. Givie me a call mate!
 
 
Fri
18
Jul

YES - Heaven & Earth (Review)

information persons: 
section name: 
BOTTOM LINE
content: 

 

The core sound is there and the songs are memorable and the additional orchestration and super sharp production are all big positives to ensure that fans of Yes receive this album favorably.

section name: 
SCORE
content: 

 

79%
section name: 
TRACK LISTING
Produced By: 
Roy Thomas Baker
Running Time: 
51
Release Date: 
2014
Released: 
Worldwide
Musical Style: 
Progressive Rock
Label: 
Frontiers Records
Artist: 
Score: 
79
Friday, July 18, 2014
Categories: 
Reviews
I don’t mind myself some falsetto vocals, but when there’s no light and shade – that is, the vocals are all falsetto all of the time, and the album goes some 50 minutes, well, my ears begin to rebel.
 
Iconic prog-pop-rock band Yes are back with their first album in many moons, with stalwarts Steve Howe, Chris Squire, Alan White and Geoff Downes with new vocalist Jon Davison in for the departed icon that was Jon Anderson.
As expected Davison is an Anderson soundalike and does his job keeping the traditional Yes sound intact.
 
The album is beautifully produced by the legendary Grammy Award winner, Roy Thomas Baker (Queen, The Cars, Guns N’ Roses, Foreigner, Alice Cooper and more), ensuring that fans of the band get exactly what they hoped for.
The songs are long and complex, but don’t forget the necessary hooks to hold it all together – the first three: Believe Again, The Game and Step Beyond impressing in particular.
The rest of the albums takes a little more concentration to appreciate, but those vocals are a hindrance for the likes of me.
 
The album is all quite likable and I expect longtime fans to be happy, but those vocals…they are enough to turn me off any long term loyalty to this record and I expect will encourage other fence sitters to do likewise.